Self check is necessary

I’ve been in countless situations where I condemn people’s actions and judge them by their actions. I’ll say to myself, ‘this is a very senseless thing to do. How immature can this person be? What kind of desperation led you to act this way?’ I could go on and on about ways in which I judge people. Now I’ve only realized that, whether the acts are wrong or right, I’m only piling up unnecessary

worries for myself. Not until I was in a similar situation, and before I could weigh my options to act right, I had already acted foolishly. I had acted in the same way others act and I condemn them. You know, at that point of action that was the only rational thing to do. So it opened my eyes to see beyond mere actions. There are a lot of things that push people to do the things they do, no matter how stupid and foolish they may seem. When I found myself in that shoe, I realised that the only option I had was to walk in a way that I could be comfortable. Every shoe has it pains, pressure and relief, so you keep finding ways to be comfortable in them.

I know many self righteous people who believe that they are bigger and more mature than most mistakes people make. Well, I’m not going to comment on that because in this life, I can only speak for and account for myself alone. I accept that I can never be rational and sensible enough to avoid some mistakes. My perspective is different from others, and I may be limited by my perspective until I fall, then I’ll realise where I missed it. I believe that judging others is based on a personal self reflection. Someone once told me that, “we identify and condemn the flaws of others because deep down we have such traits and the capability to be likely flawed. That is to say that the faults we see in others, we have them too.”

Let’s take an instance on how I feel about sex. If you engage me in a random conversation about sex, you’ll definitely conclude that I hate sex or I’m trying to form mother of Jesus. But the fact is that sex is addictive, or rather that’s my opinion about sex. To someone else, sex might just be a random act of love, a way to ease anger or depression, etc. So for the fact that sex is a very sacred thing to me, I’m quick to condemn others who do not see it my way. I’m like; this person is useless, worthless, irresponsible, etc. Or like when I had my second piercing done, my parents were just shouting that this kind of fashion is for prostitutes, etc. But to me it is a really beautiful style/fashion. Another point I’m trying to raise here is judging others on the basis of our personal beliefs. Honestly, that’s not the best approach to life, and on a wider scale we have no business judging others because we don’t know their hearts, neither do we know the pressure that leads to such actions.

Judging others is an ugly colour for any person to wear. Most times, as a result of this, we’re always angry and tensed because we’re taking panadol for other people’s headache. Let’s learn to accept people the way they are. And if for any reason whatsoever we feel an action is BAD, rather than just condemning, we should ,make it a duty to positively influence and alter that action peacefully. Let’s live on day at a time, and be fruitful by minding our own businesses and helping those around us.