Assuming fate...

Watching my youngest sister be ambitious, dreamy, desiring, and totally enthusiastic about growing up and becoming an adult lately; has made me to deeply reflect on “me” then and where I am now. Growing up and becoming an adult is a lot more detailed than just getting taller, getting a job, finishing school, learning to drive, making decisions, and basically just being older by age... there’s; moving on from heartbreak or loss of a loved one (sometimes this comes in childhood too), giving up dreams cause of hard times or reasons you can’t explain, taking up skills or careers or even hobbies that you hate just to make ends meet, being disappointed and betrayed and having to deliver no matter your mental state😪, and a lot more. Growing up and becoming an adult can equally be an exciting experience and a wonderful turn out of events; most people claim to be actually living their dreams...

I remember as a child; just the thoughts of me growing up was the most safe space I had. I would tell myself that “when I grow up, things will be better. No one would boss me around, I’d buy all the cars, phones, (and all the flashy gadgets you name) without having to take permission from anyone, I’d do the things I love to do at my own time and will, I’ll be in charge of my life and everything will be perfect and I’ll be happy 😬 I had lots of dreams growing up, and I’m surprised how for once I never saw myself becoming a doctor 🤔 probably I don’t remember. One time I wanted to be an artist because my fine arts teacher told me that I was an amazing sketcher. I held on to that very long, until my cousins talked me out of it and told me that I could be an architect instead. This was the realest and strongest safe space I had. In no time, I was fully architecture inclined 🤗 I fell in love with technical drawing - like I developed some very deep emotions for TD😩 that I actually enjoyed late night  assignments even though my body would complain over and again. This dream was certainly sure because I wasn’t exactly failing physics and furthermaths was just - oh well😅.

But before this supposedly final decision, I once resolved to own a bank and be swimming in money and employ all my friends. Choosing architecture woke me up from that dream, and I was intensely gearing up for the future - my future. I mingled while going to school, met new people, shared vast and varying ideas, and slowly my reality took form. It didn’t immediately turn but it saw new lights. Just one day in school, in a social studies class in jss  2 to be precise; a topic was taught and I was overly concerned, so I decided to write my thoughts on that topic. I showed my teacher, and he was like “wow! This is amazing. You need to develop this article, and if you have any questions or difficulties you can meet me”. Well that how the rays of this new light entered my life. I had a best friend in my jss 3, and we would write appreciation notes to ourselves almost everyday... and I found my ability to manipulate words and use them beautifully.

The writer in me was born🔥. I was participating more in press club and I was happy with this new light. Fast forward to real life 😩 in my ss2 third term, I then decided that I had to do this writing thing as a career and I shouldn’t be limiting myself by battling physics, chemistry and further maths. I moved to arts class, and every one believed it was for a worthy cause. Fast forward again; it was time to go the university and it was staring me in the eyes, daring my dreams and ambitions - I was to study international relations. Me that I didn’t even understand how I passed government in my WASSCE, how will I cope now. Blah blah blah, I went to school to study to become an ambassador 🌚.

First year, I was just angry... constantly applying for scholarships and finding reasons to leave. Guess why, I was now certain that psychology was definitely my life’s calling😇. All my efforts did not bring any positive results, so I endured and eventually developed love for the course. With interesting topics like “terrorism, underdevelopment, diplomacy, and lots more”, international relations was suddenly not the worst option. Developing my writing along side, I started this blog and suddenly had the urge to talk more by doing videos. My latest dream is to learn and master photography, cinematography, graphics design and animation. I was on a summer taster program, and architecture was projected in ways too amazing; and I sat having regrets of why I didn’t persevere 🤦‍♀️, but I consoled myself believing that I can still do TD for the fun and the love.

Well I’m here now, and from all these my cut and join stories... I have learned lot. Firstly that you can never be prepared for life,; in the sense that with every given circumstance or situation, a new you is sure to emerge. You might not become an entirely different person but you’ll definitely be better or unlikely worse. Secondly, no dream is wrong or not achievable. You can find ways to merge and balance your desires, passion, skill, whatsoever - given your circumstance or situation. Thirdly, what should matter most is that; within you, you should feel good and satisfied with what you’re doing knowing that you’re impacting the world with what you have to offer.

Nowadays, my safe space is helping the people around me . You can imagine, after all my high dreams and ambitions, this is where it all led to. The safe spaces I had fantasized about do not even exist in my world, but I’m still standing. It still okay to have safe spaces that gives you hope and encouragement for your reality, but do not fail to live by exploring every possibility that you are.

Growing up and becoming an adult is assuming fate; being ready and strong enough to give up dreams that no longer fit into your present reality and taking up new dreams and ambitions to express your potentials in the best ways you can. Growing up and becoming an adult; assuming fate, my safe space is in knowing that I can offer help of any sort to those that need it.